Wonderhussy

Just the other day I was naked as a jaybird, soaking in the warm winter sunshine at the Tecopa mudhole with two girls from Arkansas named Lisa — friends of mine who were in town to sell weapons at a gun show along with a third colleague, a beautiful blonde pageant queen named Savannah. Savannah, being somewhat less adventurous, had opted to stay back in town…but the Lisas had implored me in their honeyed Southern accents to “take us somewhere iiiinteresting!” They come to Vegas all the time, and were tired of the same old shit on the Strip; they wanted to see something different.

So I took them on a modified version of the Mojave Mystical Tour I’d gone on myself, back on New Year’s Day — we cruised out to the desert, stopping at Cathedral Canyon and the China Ranch Date Farm, before ending up in the sunshine at the good ol’ Tecopa wallow. We had a drink and a smoke, then laid back to bask in the winter sunshine with the usual collection of kooks and oddballs who frequent that lonely little soak: that day, our company included a poker player, a poet and a beautiful, busty Dutchwoman who only removed her bikini top once she saw that I was nakers (the Lisas, being nice Southern gals, kept their swimsuits on).

Also joining the crowd at the mudhole that day was a friendly retired couple from Montana who were traveling around Death Valley in a beautiful vintage Airstream trailer. When they saw my Wonderhussy-branded trucker hat, they were thrilled: “Oh, we watched your video last night when we were looking for stuff to do out here! That’s how we found this place!”

Come to find out, the poker player had also been to my site! It seems like everywhere I go lately, I run into people who have checked out this blog; it’s really cool…but also kinda weird, especially with that nice Montana couple, knowing that my ass and twat are plastered all over the place in between my hot springs reviews. I mean, I have no problem with nudity…and the rational part of my brain insists that no one should. But the sad fact of the matter is, some people are put off by nakedness. I don’t think the Montana couple was….but it made me wonder how many visitors to this site I alienate because of it.

In a weird Catch-22, however, I’m sure I lose even more visitors because there’s not enough nudity — my site isn’t porny enough to satisfy the likes of these pervs who stumble on me looking for stuff like this:

The fact is, I’m in a real existential quandary: these days, I get as much traffic from desert adventure seekers as I do from mouth-breathing “gost” porn fans…but to whom should I be marketing myself? I’m tired of being broke; I want to make some money off this bitch, already!

The whole mess is of my own doing — ever since I started blogging back in 2000, I’ve been posting nude/salacious photos to generate traffic, hoping that at least a few incoming pervs would stay to read the shit I write. And it’s worked; this blog generates a respectable amount of traffic on a daily basis. But the problem is, it’s tough to monetize.

Because of the nude photos, my blog is considered “adult” content, and thus ineligible for Google AdSense. But when I look at using one of the AdSense alternatives, the reality is disheartening: do you (or I) really want shitty webcam/escort service/penis pump ads popping up on my page?

I don’t! So for the past few years, the only money I’ve made from this blog is when someone hires me for a photo shoot, or when the occasional generous reader makes a donation — which is depressingly infrequent. Most of the time, I bust my hump posting this shit for nothing. It’s a labor of love….but love doesn’t pay the phone bill.

I’m caught between a rock and a hard place — the no-man’s land between Art and porn, and I need to shit or get off the pot! And so, rather than wading into the murky waters of porn…I’m caving. I hate to kowtow to the bourgeois moral code of the day…but I feel I have no choice.

I’ll continue to maintain this personal blog, for fun…but I’m also starting a new site, along with my sister, devoted exclusively to desert adventuring. This new site will be PG-13: no nips, no twats, no drugs…just 100% adventure tips. Yay!! Um….right?

You see, my sister and I have been traveling around exploring the kookiest depths of the desert for the last few years now, and my posts regarding these excursions have been among my most popular (incoming search terms notwithstanding). So in the depths of broke-ass desperation one day, I decided to try a little experiment, and bought the domain name LasVegasOutdoorAdventures.com, with the idea of turning it into a sort of guidebook for the Vegas visitor who wants to see more than just slot machines and shitty Elvis impersonators. I already have most of the content here on this site, under my “desert sites” and “nude modeling location guide” tabs; it should be fairly easy to sanitize it, re-format it, and post it up on the other page…and see what kind of traffic we get without the T&A.

At the same time, my sis and I aren’t idiots — we know sex sells, so we can’t be too bland. My sis thinks we need to come up with a more interesting, quirky brand name than “LasVegasOutdoorAdventures” — something with a broader appeal, that covers more territory but also makes us sound fun and interesting. (I suggested Twats R Us, Desert Poontang, and Ghost Town Vaginas…but she nixed them all. Sheesh!)

If you have any cool ideas for a name we should use, message me at wonderhussy@gmail.com…I sincerely appreciate any and all input! In the meantime, please forgive me for slacking on this blog; I’ve been pouring all my time into writing shit for the other site, as well as hustling to pay my bills the old-fashioned way: with my twat, ass and nipples. Sometimes, it’s all a gal has to fall back on.

To than end, the weather is finally getting warm(ish) enough to where I can get back out into the desert and start doing my nude photo shoot tours again; this past week, I had a booking from a delightful photographer from back east, who had traveled to Vegas with another model, and hired me to take them out for one of my day tours in my busted-up pickup truck. I advised them that they should probably rent a car, as it would be a tight squeeze for the three of us in my Ford Ranger…but they insisted that part of the experience was being in my truck! So I picked them up at their hotel one morning, we all piled in….and off we went.

It turned out to be an absolutely fabulous day — unseasonably warm and sunny, with not a cloud in the wide, blue sky. We headed out past the last suburbs on the edge of Henderson and into the wide open desert — and they loved it!! I’ve lived here so long that I often forget how astonishing our wide-open vistas are to those from other parts of the country; to me, it’s just desert. But to many, it’s amazing…and I get a genuine thrill watching other people’s enthusiastic reactions to it 🙂

Our first stop was my favorite secret red sandstone location, a place with lots of caves and slot canyons with all kinds of interesting shapes and nooks and crannies to pose in. This location is so breathtakingly beautiful, that many photographers want to spend the entire day shooting there — it’s like Disneyland! But my clients this day had read about some of my other fabulous locations, and wanted to see more…so we headed on after only a couple of hours.

Along the way to the next location, by request of my passengers we stopped at a little warm spring out in the middle of nowhere. This place is a true oasis — in the middle of the vast, barren desert on the north shore of Lake Mead, a sudden cluster of palm trees and grasses appears out of nowhere, and there’s a beautiful little warm spring pond! This isn’t one of my regular soaking haunts, as the water is only about 80 degrees… and it’s not on my regular photo shoot rotation, either, as it’s not classic “desert”-type scenery. But it’s a beautiful spot, and totally surreal — like a tiny piece of Hawaii, in the middle of the desert. After the Martian-like landscape of the first location, it made for an interesting contrast — and we were lucky, as it was a weekday in January, and no one else was around. Usually, it would be tricky to shoot nudes here, as it’s a fairly popular stopping point for tourists…but this day, we had the place to ourselves 🙂

After posing in the waterfall for awhile, we headed on toward the next stop on the tour: the abandoned cement plant. This location is so dramatic and ginormous in scale that it pretty much blows everyone away, and my two passengers this day were no exception. As with the red sandstone location, a photographer could easily spend an entire day shooting here — the options are limitless!

But again, my clients wanted to push on and squeeze in one final location before sunset — the ever-popular dry lake bed. This is a classic desert landscape that every photographer and model wants in their portfolio, and these two were no exception. So just before sunset, we rolled out onto the desolate, cracked plain and banged out a few more shots before we lost the light completely and had to head back into town.

But…what a day! Total time elapsed: 8 hours, from pickup to drop-off. Total locations shot at: 4. Total photos taken: 100s! Total fun: UNQUANTIFIABLE! My passengers couldn’t emphasize enough to me how much fun they’d had, and the photographer in particular kept singing my praises as a tour guide, even more than as a model. It was really cool, and it made me feel really good about myself! I got to show these two a little bit of the awesomeness outside Vegas…I love doing that 🙂

And guess what? You, too, could have this experience! For the very reasonable price of $500, I will pick you up at your hotel, take you around to these same spots, and spend an average of 1.5 hours posing nude at each location before moving on. It’s a wonderful way to spend a day touring the desert; next time you’re in town for a convention or a conference, why not take an extra day and bring your camera? It’s either that or piss your $500 into a slot machine or the coffers of some douchebag celebrity chef!

Anyway, my experience playing tour guide on the photo shoot hearkened back to my experience earlier in the month, with the Lisas from Arkansas  — I got the same satisfaction showing those two around the desert! After hitting the Tecopa mudhole, we headed on into Shoshone for a late lunch at a dusty little saloon called the Crowbar, which they absolutely loved. Just being in an area with no cell phone coverage was kind of a big deal for them — the sight of the old-school phone booth outside the Crowbar was a real novelty, LOL.

And after lunch at the Crowbar, we headed on back across the desert toward town, making one final stop at the summit of the mountain pass separating Vegas from Pahrump, to have a nightcap at one of my all-time favorite biker bars…a rustic old-time saloon nestled in a grove of Ponderosa pine, where I’d stopped off at the end of my previous Mojave Mystical Tour.

This time, the bartender remembered me….and introduced me and the Lisas to the owner, who bought us a round of shots. Uh oh! Before you know it, we had ordered another drink…and next thing one of the other grizzled locals came over: “Hey, do you girls wanna smoke some weed?” Hi-Yo!!!!!

As the designated driver, I couldn’t really smoke or drink much…but this didn’t really seem like something I could say no to, so we followed a group of the local mountain men up the hill behind the bar in the darkness to the converted chicken coop where this super-cool hardcore rock climber lived; one of those guys who lives for climbing. He was around 60 years old, and his entire cabin was basically a shrine to climbing — gear hanging ALL over every wall, with nothing but folding camp chairs and ashtrays for furniture, and a climbing movie on silent repeat on the TV.

The Lisas, being in the self-defense industry, were a bit apprehensive at being locked in some converted chicken coop in the woods with a bunch of burly mountain men and nothing but sinister S&M-looking climbing gear all over the walls…but it turned out great! We all hung out and socialized, and the climber guy in particular turned out to be super cool! He told me his whole life story, how he was in something like 23 foster homes by the age of 14, and how learning to rock climb at one of those summer outdoors programs for troubled youth basically saved his life; the state sponsored him on a climbing trip to Mt. Thor on Baffin Bay one summer, which he had to take a dogsled for two weeks to reach, and it basically changed his whole outlook on everything, and fueled his lifelong passion for the outdoors and for climbing. He had a really cool philosophy about climbing and life and everything, and I really enjoyed talking to him!

Even better, he said that any time I happen to be up there at that saloon, I don’t have to worry about drinking and driving; it’s a long, winding road back down the mountain to Vegas, so usually I limit myself to just one or two drinks up there, even when there’s a rip-roaring party going on and I’d like nothing more than to get royally shitfaced…but now, I have a standing invitation to crash out in the hammock on the front porch of the chicken coop cabin any time I want. Hells, yeah!!

Anyway, that’s the reality of my life: nudity, drugs, booze, cussing….and adventure!! Monetization or not, never fear… I will continue to blog about it here at wonderhussy.com as long as I can — you can count on that! No matter how many others sites I start, you can guarantee that my twat, ass and nipples will continue to grace the pages of this website until they put me out to pasture — and you can take that to the bank!

Meanwhile, alas….the number of twat, ass, nipple and porn references in this blog entry alone is probably gonna garner a whole new legion of clicks from horny pervs. And to them I say, WELCOME! And….

Sorry, motherfuckers…nothing to see here!

😀