Nothing’s Sacred: Meditations on my Taint

This morning I found myself in the unenviable and undeniably bizarre position of squatting over my toilet with a pair of super-sharp hair scissors, snipping perilously close to the delicate flesh of my anus. Why the fuck was I trimming my ass hair, you ask??

I asked myself that same question.

photo credit: C.J.
photo credit: C.J.

As an art nude model, I understand and accept the responsibility I’ve assumed to maintain a neat, slim, fit, conventionally attractive appearance. I lift weights, I run, I tan, I diet, I shave, I trim, I moisturize, I hydrate, I cleanse, I floss, I file, I spend 45 minutes prior to a shoot making up my face, and I spend a great deal of time and money caring for and styling my hair.

Apparently, this isn’t enough!

It seems that these days, the definition of “conventionally attractive” has become invasive to the point where it’s no longer enough to trim your bush and shave your bikini line down to a modest landing strip. These days, apparently, photographers want you to shave everything — including your asshole!

Now, keep in mind — I market myself as an art nude model. Not an adult model, not a webcam model, not a porn actress. My bio on Model Mayhem clearly states the types of content I am comfortable with and willing to shoot:

photo credit: L. Hoth
photo credit: L. Hoth

[My] rates are for art and glamour nudes…NOT erotica. To be clinical, I will shoot anything except for masturbation, implied masturbation, spread-eagle shots and insertion of objects into my ass/twat.

Basically, you can photograph my labia majora all day long…and if you REALLY want to photograph my labia minora and other innards, be advised that my rate for clinical, up-close spread vag shots is $700/hour. So go ahead; bust out your most powerful telephoto lens, jeweler’s loupe, what-the-fuck-EVER, and blast away! I’ve been told I do have a very shapely vagina smile For $700 you too could have 60 wondrous minutes of staring at/photographing it, and I *WILL* donate $100 of that to Planned                                                    Parenthood.

(No photographer has ever, as of yet, taken me up on the Vagina Challenge, preferring instead to cajole and dissemble (“Don’t worry, the way your leg is angled it’s all hidden in shadow.” Yeah, right!)

a modest bush photo credit: Cam Attree
a modest bush
photo credit: Cam Attree

Partly to cockblock such dissemblance, my practice is to rock a modest bush  — that way, even if a photographer tries to pull one over on me, at least my anus and vagina are somewhat camouflaged. And though most of the photographers I shoot with are respectful of my comfort levels, I still prefer to maintain a bush for reasons of physical comfort and personal aesthetics.

Of course I understand that aesthetics vary, and I’m sure my bush costs me shoots here and there…but guess what? If a photographer insists on it, I am totally willing to shave my pubis, groin and labia! Though I do feel naked and weird when bald, it’s not that big a deal, and I am happy to oblige.

But I draw the line at my taint!!!

Because of my limitations, I see no need to shave any further south than my labia majora. I don’t pose for spread-leg shots anyway, so why should I shave my perineum and anus? If a photographer has read my bio and is truly respecting my comfort levels, any hair that grows below my labia won’t be showing in any of the photos, anyways.

I mean, shit — I’m already naked!! Is there no inch of my body I can keep as my own — not even my asshole?!?!?!?!

photo credit: Photoman027,
photo credit: Photoman027,

Apparently not. In the last couple of months I’ve had two or three photographers raise the issue of my ass hair. Having just this morning caved to pressure and trimmed it, I can tell you with 100% certainty that said hairs were only .5″ long at most. Had my posing comfort levels been honored, they shouldn’t have even been visible!! Have you seen my ass?!! 1/2 inch of anything should not protrude beyond the curve of my buttocks…unless someone was shooting me from an unflattering and unexpected angle.

In any event, I understand the evolutionary biology behind all of this: a bald pussy is a young pussy. Men want to be sure their potential mate is prepubescent and thus unlikely to have been sullied by other dicks. Some guys also profess this preference for better visibility, or for less interference during cunnilingus.

Or, apparently, anilingus.

But I’m not in the business of anilingus, cunnilingus or for that matter any-fucking-lingus — I’m just trying to be an art model!! 

photo credit: Shutterbug Studio
photo credit: Shutterbug Studio

Has society become so sexually jaded that a traditional, beautiful, tasteful art nude is no longer a turn on?

Is a subtle glimpse of bush (or shaven pubis) no longer enough?

photo credit: Taylor Maxwell
photo credit: Taylor Maxwell


What happened to less is more?!


Does it really take a fully shaven, tweezed, plucked and bleached expanse from navel to anus to turn guys on these days?


You tell me…

Jon Salvador Gascon

I believe in the “less is more” aesthetic. When it come to nude photographs it’s all in the lighting, background, and the composition. That’s why I dig your photos. I appreciate all the work that goes into your prefect form (although clipping your taint hairs does sound excruciating. Lol). Your body is definitely a work of art. Just wondering if you have any favorite photographers?

Rick O'Brien

I have one word for you and your (photographers) problem…WAXING ! No sharp,metal implements near the exit door.


HA HA HA! Exactly! To guys shelling out the advice for us women to wax… question is, have you tried waxing down there yourself? Are you speaking from experience? If so, I respect your input and advice. If not, you have NO clue. Thanks.

Eric Neilson

I have had my body waxed due to a woman’s request. It took over 2 hours of extreme pain to pluck me clean. So yes I do know how it feels. I also shave my yonder region rather often. I like the way it feels and looks. I have also had a few ladies express there appreciation as well.
I personally prefer for a lady to be clean shaven. And it has NOTHING to do with wanting her to look like a little girl. That part of a woman’s body is stunningly beautiful and I want to see everything. Also, that is my favorite restaurant to dine and I much prefer to be able to enjoy every little bit of it hair free! Of course this is my personal taste.


Completely understood! It’s a personal taste issue — but I can tell you that when I post hairy armpit photos on Instagram, I get more likes and responses than on any other type of photo I post. I can only imagine the response if I were to post bush/hairy ass photos!!!!!


I see this as the continuing erosion of America. Extreme this, Extreme that,everyone trying to one-up the other. I, for one, look forward to a cultural reset to a kindler, gentler time and mindset. I miss the 70’s! But, what do I know, I’m an old hippie from Missoula, Mt.!!


I personally prefer a nice trim. The whole fully shaved thing for art nudes seems a bit silly to me. Visability? In 99% of cases the models legs are closed or crossed in an art nude. So the big thrill is seeing a bit of a shaved pubic mound? I find art nudes to be beautiful and sexy but they aren’t supposed to be sexual. If you’re looking for something to masturbate to, there’s free hardcore porn everywhere. If I want to see a beautiful photo of a goddess, then art nudes are perfect. I hope that photographers of art nudes and porn go back to a little hair down there. I don’t particularly want a woman to look like a 12 year old girl.


My friend, the photographers who suggest that, should try doing that to themselves and are just a bunch of uncouth assholes!!


Listen, I’m sure it’s only an issue when you can either braid it OR do a comb under and use your ass hair as a merken, otherwise there should be nothing discussed, can you do either of those 2 things?


Less is more in my view, particularly for fine art nude work. Photogs making those requests are about something else – not makimg art.


It’s not just the ladies that as expected to defoliate the lower and back 40. As a young bottom its expected that I have no pubes, no hair on my balls, and no hair around my ass. I tried nair once…. big mistake, so I’m back to using the special razor ( the one I don’t use on my face )…… one day I’ll be old enough to be a Bear and won’t have to shave anything anymore.


“Don’t worry, the way your leg is angled it’s all hidden in shadow.” I have heard that line in different variations myself. Some photographers are hopeless.
I really don’t know what to say about all of this hair or no hair issue, probably because I am super tired and in a food coma right now, my thought process is not functioning at the moment…..BUT I’m glad I’m not a bottom like your friend Putney above, it seems very time consuming.
And I think guys need to trim their bushes too, in fact I think dudes in general have way more pubic hair than women. Chop that shit down. Tame that rug.
Besides that, I think this entry was very funny and very well written, I recommended it to a few people. A must read!
: )


This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “I’m ready for my close up, Mr. De Mille.”

My gut instinct is to say: Don’t take any shit, sister! If you decide to blacklist certain photographers, it’s their loss not yours. You put a great deal of effort into your art and your boundaries should be respected.

“Does it really take a fully shaven…” Not for me. I love the muscle tone on display in your photos. The ones in this post are fine examples. (Full disclosure: I was a lazy-ass today and skipped going to the gym. The thought, “Wonderhussy wouldn’t skip her workout,” actually went through my mind.)

Justin (Whitey) Black

Wtf’s w/ all the bitching WH? Gotta hair up yer azz or sumpin?!
Great pics- as usual.

Now: I must email link to LV Weekly & DEMAND they hire you for these kind of articles!—->
Only link was LV Sun/pics only, but believe me, you’d blow this girls write-up away.


“Twat we’ve got here is faaailure to commune-a-taint….”

I miss you on Twitter hon. (Whitey Black)


As a guy, I have constructed a fiction that women have entirely hairless anuses that poop never emanates from. This fictions can, from time to time, prove difficult to maintain.

Surely there’s some sort of semi-permanent hair removal cream that could prove useful here?

Also, anal bleaching. Necessary.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *