No Hookah Hoses in Your Hoo-hah!!

Fuck you, Facebook
Fuck you, Facebook

I’m no stranger to censorship. My entire Facebook profile was deleted back in 2009 because I posted a few art nudes — despite the fact that no nipples/vagina were showing, the fact that I was naked was reason enough for them to delete my profile, and refuse to reinstate it (I appealed, and they actually emailed me back saying NO).  One of the main reasons I started this blog, in fact, was so that I could post whatever the fuck I wanted to, without fear of being flagged or deleted by some dumb Puritanical website.

I learned my lesson — nowadays, I’m cautious about what I post on Facebook. But I never thought I’d have to worry about Model Mayhem, the modeling networking site I use! They don’t allow you to use a topless or nude photo as your avatar (unless you’re male, in which case topless is fine…OF COURSE), but other than that, it’s pretty much open game over there. UNTIL NOW….

Yes friends, I am shocked to announce that I have now had a photo removed from Model Mayhem!! Fuck, all I need is a Twitter ban, and I’ll have a trifecta :-/

pic by Shutterbug-Studio
pic by Shutterbug-Studio

<– Here is the photo in question. Apparently, it violates this section of Model Mayhem’s terms of service:

“The following represent image types that are NEVER allowed to be posted on Model Mayhem:

– any and all penetration of vagina or anus”

Which, apparently, means: No hookah hoses allowed inside holy holes!!!!

When I uploaded this pic to Model Mayhem, I didn’t for a second think there’d be a problem. It’s obviously a kooky, tongue-in-cheek joke photo — there’s nothing erotic about it at all. But, one of the MM moderators contacted me yesterday, informing me that they had removed it.

OK, fine. It was no big deal, since I had shot a PG-version of the same exact photo anyway, so I just uploaded that, instead. But the whole situation IRKED me anyway.

Model Mayhem is mostly an amateur site — amateur models and amateur photographers…some more amateur than others!!! You see all kinds of awful shit on there, but…art is subjective, so who am I say what’s awful? As long as it’s between consenting adults, who cares?? My beef is mostly with the fact that Model Mayhem censored MY innocent little hoo-hah-hookah pic, while allowing the following photos to slide:

photo by Dark Fantasies
  Looks like there’s a rope in her                        vagina to me…..            photo by Dark Fantasies
It's OK to show  this...but god forbid you stick a hookah in your junk. Pic by Michael Helms
It’s OK to show this…but god forbid you stick a hookah in your junk.
Pic by Michael Helms








Ted Bundy porn is cool...just so long as you're not inserting any hookah hoses Pic by Dark Lair Productions
Ted Bundy porn is cool…just so long as you’re not inserting any hookah hoses
Pic by Dark Lair Productions
Torture=ok Pic by Johnny T
Torture = okey dokey
Pic by Johnny T








LOL.........hey, whatever gets you off. So long as it's not a hookah hose in your twat. Pic by Ken Marcus
LOL………hey, whatever gets you off. So long as it’s not a hookah hose in your twat.
Pic by Ken Marcus


To those of who not familiar with Model Mayhem, these are just a few examples of the THOUSANDS of fucked-up photos people post on that site. There’s a HUGE market for “Damsel in Distress” photos of terrified-looking chicks tied up and gagged…lots of people are really into that.

Again, I’m not saying the above photos should be deleted from MM — as long as it was between consenting adults, who cares? First Amendment, already.

I’m just saying that I really don’t find my hookah hoo-hah photo to be any more offensive. What do you think?

Robert H. Gwinn

Personally I prefer your photos which are sexy and a bit whimsical in contrast to the abusive nature of some of the photos they allow. I find images of Rape, and bondage much more offensive than you adding a little kick to a bong hit. As an artist and film maker also in LasVegas, maybe we are more accustom to sex as entertainment as opposed to images of sex as abuse. I support your right to post your images and to anyone who finds them offensive I have one suggestion… DON’T LOOK, STUPID!


I am so tired of this puritan attitude. On Facebook, sure, that I understand but ModelMayhem? You obviously picked some of the less (intentionally) “horrifying” pics from MM above but yours is playful in comparison. Really cool shot, very cute, sexy and in no way offensive.
Love it!

SW Images

This leads to an interesting question. If a photographer neglects to edit out a “string” or even has said “string” tied to a helium balloon, is this a penetration issue? Perhaps I should test those waters!

Erik Stone

It matters what the likelihood of the potential court outcome would be. In the case of the string, can you think of a jury that would blame MM for allowing a string they they claim they “didn’t see(Plausible deniability),” where the plaintiff claimed she was raped with a Tampon?
At the same time, what benefit does MM get by allowing those images, and what risk are they taking? They would still have to pay some court costs, even if a crazy girl sued them for a case they would easily and quickly win. What is the likelihood of a crazy girl going for the case, and how much money do they make from allowing those images, versus how much would it cost them to restrict them?
These are the questions that MM has already answered to themselves, in terms of their business model.


I think your picture is great and should be allowed on MM as it’s nothing XXX rated but a beautiful amateur art picture.
Sorry about that and f…. MM as they may want to become another FB

PS: you can still put whatever you want in your Hoo-hah … as far as you’re a consenting adult 🙂

Erik Stone

I guess bondage is hot, sexy, and popular. Hookahs in hoo-has are out . . . or maybe there is another reason . . .

MM has their Terms or Service to protect themselves from women (virtually zero men) crying rape and suing everyone in and out of sight. Tying someone up cannot constitute rape, without penetration, but penetration by itself, could be considered rape, in a legal sense. It all depends on the opinion of the “victim” and the findings of the court.

MM might not care if the photographer “raped” you with the hookah, and they shouldn’t, but they certainly don’t want to get sued for contributing to it? If you decide you were raped, well then, there is evidence in your image of potential “rape.” In the other images, there is no evidence of “rape,” because you cannot have rape without penetration. Rape is bad in legalese because the outcome is often unfair and/or unpredictable, and not one wants to deal with being accused of contributing to a rape in court, because there is nothing to gain from it.

I love images of nudity and penetration of many types, and I support the free availability and distribution of any images, but if I owned and ran MM, I would behave exactly the same way that they have. There are angry forces out there that can take down awesome companies easily, and I wouldn’t want that to happen to the business that I built, just because a person got angry and decided they were raped in an image that someone posted, and because an un-free government decided that everyone in the lawsuit was to blame, including my company.

From what I can tell from MM, the staff likely supports freedom for imagery, and I’m sure they weren’t offended in the least by your image, but they simply don’t see the risk of losing the whole business worth allowing penetration in the images. They likely won’t budge on that, because they probably get a lot more concerning hate mail from anti-nudists than from you. The anti-nudists are actually trying to put them out of business, where as you are a mostly-happy-but-angry-at-the-moment-customer 🙂

If you want to fight back, the best thing would be to come up with a way to make rape not subjective. Good luck with that . . .

Something else that would help immensely and that is possible, would be to lobby the US Government for having the losers of lawsuits have to pay for all the court costs. If we had that in the US, it would take away the most of the risk involved with allowing penetration in imagery, as well as disincentivizing frivolous lawsuits, which is what most companies that restrict freedom, are terrified of, which is why they restrict freedom of expression in the first place.

Jamie Hammond

I’ve never been a fan of Model Mayhem… Some ppl put way too much stock in that site & it’s always been a non issue to me, I book work without it so I don’t give a shit! I honestly know how ya feel… It’s clearly a double standard here! I don’t mind a nice hookah in my hoo haa but I def don’t want to be strangled, choked out, or nipples fucked & distorted for life! I’m all for anything that penetrates! Just puts a smile on my face thinking about it! I do however care about accident death associated with being hung or choked out… Make Love Not War except on Model Mayhem….

Let me leave you with a beautiful mix of my song, my song cause I’m a filthy dirty husdu and this just feels good… Wait the first 30 seconds and then you get the yummy wet warm feelings!

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