While I was trying to decide whether or not to do that sex seminar gig, I got a lot of input from friends and Facebook “friends.” Almost every single person advised me not to do it, and one of the main reasons given was that it sounded like prostitution.
Why the big fuss about/taboo against prostitution?! I have no moral or ethical opposition to that storied profession…in fact, the only reason I’m not raking it in as an escort is that I couldn’t stomach having sex with physically repulsive men. I’m fairly easy once you get some wine in me… but even I have my standards! I don’t know how the Las Vegas Courtesan does it.
I am very cynical about matters of romance, and I posit that most women use sex as a bargaining chip in one way or another — our vag is our collateral, even in relationships and marriages. An uninterested wife tolerating the joyless rutting of a horny husband just to keep him from going somewhere else for sex is basically trading gash for stability. And many a girlfriend has treated her man to a home-cooked steak and a blowjob with an ulterior motive in mind. Don’t say you’ve never done it!
We’re all prostituting ourselves in one way or another — creatively, financially, whatever. Hookers just do it in a more straightforward manner than the rest of us. God bless ’em for it!
Anyhoo, what I’m really interested in is the exact definition of prostitution. According to the law, it is “the commission by a person of any natural or unnatural sexual act, deviate sexual intercourse, or sexual contact for monetary consideration or other thing of value.”
By this definition, aren’t all porn stars prostitutes? I don’t get what makes it different if it’s on camera. By that logic, couldn’t a prostitute just film her sessions to get around the law? She could say she’s not charging the client for the sex itself — she’s charging him for the video.
I think I actually might already be a prostitute, according to this definition. Most of the wacky fetish things I’ve done were sexual in nature — even if the guy didn’t bust his nut in my presence, but waited until after I’d left. So I wonder if seed must be spilled for it to become illegal. Consider the following examples from my personal history, and decide for yourself: Prostitute or Not a Prostitute?
A couple months ago I posted a blog about this foot fetish photo shoot I did in a guy’s room at an off-Strip hotel. I sat in a chair, fully clothed, watching Jersey Shore while he photographed my feet in various pairs of shoes, and then at his request I videotaped him sucking all the dirt and grime off my bare feet. Then he asked me to kick him in the nuts a few times, which I did with relish, and he paid me $200. Both of us were clothed through all of this, but I’m sure he jerked off after I left…if not right then and there, I’m sure at some point. Was that an act of prostitution?
Another time, I got involved with some female bodybuilders who do fantasy wrestling sessions with guys who pay upwards of $300/hour for the privilege of wrestling with strong women. This one chick referred me to one of her regulars, and he hired me to do a “Strength Challenge Session” in his motel room across from the Hard Rock. I wore workout shorts and a sports bra, but he offered me extra money if I would wrestle topless. Meanwhile, he left the curtains to the motel room open, so anyone walking by would have seen me grappling topless on the bed with this weird little old man (he was a mathematics professor from England, a verrrrrry strange fellow with wire-rimmed glasses, Einstein hair and terrible garlic breath). It was legitimate wrestling — he did not go easy on me or try to molest me, just wrestled. But I’m assuming he must have jerked off or something after I left…otherwise why spend all that money wrestling a woman? So, though no seed was spilled during our session…was THAT an act of prostitution?
And how about this one: every month there’s a big foot fetish party here in town, where foot fetishists pay $60 to come into this swingers’ club filled with models, and then purchase ten-minute sessions with the various models’ feet for $20. Nudity and sexual contact are prohibited, so the contact is limited to toe-sucking and foot-rubbing. But it’s as obvious as a bunion that the guys are paying for something that sexually arouses them…and indeed sometimes after a session they go out to the parking lot to “get some air,” which I’m assuming is code for “jerking off.” If I allow a random perv to suck my toes, is that prostitution? What if I were to smush my feet on a guy’s face and let him sniff them as I laid back and daydreamed, while unbeknownst to me he started jerking off? After awhile I may have noticed he was doing it, but say I felt sorry for him and didn’t have the heart to cut him off. Seed was spilled (not on me), but no genital contact was made. Was THAT prostitution?
Speaking of the foot fetish party, one well-heeled, professional partygoer once offered to hire me for a private session in his high-rise condo, wherein he would pay me to come over and let him sniff my feet for one hour, then stand by while he jerked off. He stressed that I would not be required to touch him or have anything to do with his nutbusting…but it sounded a little too freaky for me, so I never did it. If I had, would that have been prostitution?
I also had an offer once to go over to this guy’s room at vacuum his entire body with a vacuum-cleaner attachment. Seriously. Nothing sexual, just attacking his back, crack and sac with a vac. I didn’t do it (I was too shy at the time)…but if I had, how about that one?
I’ve also had my share of older men who wanted to “take care of me” and buy me stuff, help with my bills, etc. in exchange for sex — what you would call a sugar daddy arrangement. Sounds like prostitution to me! Even though you’re not being paid a specific amount for a specific action, it’s all the same.
What it all boils down to is, I guess I don’t sanctify sex…to me, it’s just another thing you do, like eating a cheeseburger or brushing your teeth. The only difference is it can create life — which since I’m an atheist, I don’t so much see the holiness of anyway.
Now, about that sex seminar: Ari (the guy running it) was very disappointed that I decided not to participate, but there were no hard feelings on his part. In fact, he offered to let me come peek in on one of the sessions, so I could see for myself that it’s legit, and maybe change my mind and work for him at some point in the future! I can’t wait, because despite the hysterics of my friends and “friends,” my gut feeling is that it was a totally legit (although unconventional) gig, and I am excruciatingly curious to find out more about it.
He also offered to compensate me for my time spent auditioning with him the other night…which I declined.
Becuz that would be prostitution!
Incoming search terms:
- foot fetish las vegas
- las vegas foot fetish
- prostitute feet
- foot fetish prostitute
- foot prostitute
- las vegas foot worship
- foot prostitution
- hooker foot fetish
- prostitute foot fetish
- hooker feet
I’m running off to work so my comment will be brief and less snarky this time. (i.e. less entertainment value)
I think you last blog post confounds the dictionary definition of “prostitution” with the legal definition of “prostitution”.
For example… Legally, in most states, porn stars are not legally prostitutes. However, under the the dictionary definition (and most people’s opinions) porn stars are prostitutes. They get paid to have sex.
There are different shades of grey when it comes to sex work. Strippers don’t have sex with their customers but they are sex workers. If you get paid to kick a guy in the nuts for the purposes of someone’s stimulation you are a sex worker.
What is the distinction between a sex worker and a prostitute?
To me, a smaller distinction is that prostitution is a subset of sex work with a very fuzzy line around it. (e.g. I would suggest, that a dominiatrix escort who does not have penetrative sex, is still a form of prostitution… but someone else might disagree.)
The larger distinction is the connotation around the word “prostitute”. The word carries such a heavy negative connotation around it that the use of the word in almost any context causes people to recoil a little bit. Many courtesans / escorts / hookers are proud of what they do, advertise their status with emphatically, but wince at the use of the word “prostitute”. Many people are, de facto, prostitutes (e.g. housewives giving it up to husbands they don’t love for wealth) but refuse to admit it to themselves.
Everyone has a price and many cross it sometimes unknowingly. The question is, are they proud of it? Are the ok with morally? Or does it make them worse as a person. Its not for me or the audience to judge. Its purely up to each person.
So going back to the question of your status…
Are you a sex worker? Per your blog post, you are.
Are you a prostitute? You decide.
PS:
I deliberately used the word “prostitute” and flippant / snarky language in my commentary regarding your last article because knew that this word (with its heavy negative connotations) would nudge you to think about all this a bit more. My intention was not to offend. Just to encourage thought, discourse, and entertain.
I get the sense that you do have some boundaries but you are constantly bumping into them and nudging them in different directions. I certainly enjoy reading about your libertine approach (I’m a libertarian myself) but I wonder if at some point you’ll dare yourself into crossing a line into something that really will eat away at you long term. My opinion and the opinions of others don’t matter. Its really your self opinion that counts.
In short: Can you live with it (in peace)?
This discussion reminds me of a joke my MOTHER told me long ago” A guys meets a girl and asks her “Will you have sex with me for a million dollars?” The girl replies, “I’ll think about it.” The guy then asks “Will you shave sex with me for $10?” She replies indignantly “What do you think I am, a whore?” and he shoots back “We’ve all ready established that, now we’re just dickering over the price.” This doesn’t really express my feelings on the topic, just something that came into my head. Prostitution has fascinated me ever since I saw the 1976 made for TV movie Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway starring Eve Plumb, best known for her role of Jan in The Brady Bunch. I don’t remember much about the movie now, except it used the awesome song “Cherry Bomb” by the Runaways.
OMG that movie sounds AWESOME; I’ll have to look it up!!
I’ve just started binge reading you blog after stumbling my way to it when googling the Wheel of Misfortune.
Excellent writing! You allow me to stay in touch with Vegas when I can’t be there and give me an insight to living there.
Reading the previous post, even four years later, my thought was to go with your gut. There was some reason you weren’t comfortable with the idea – and it may not have had anything to do with the “sex worker” aspects of it.
And let’s face it, anyone who has ever had sex wishes they could have been paid for it. Especially when it was bad.
Keep up the good work while I keep on catching up with your past! 🙂
Thanks!!! I didn’t end up doing it…it was too skeevy for me personally, but I wouldn’t judge anyone who did!
I believe there is no grey area … some people like feet…some like porn…foot modeling not wrong…if someone lives green eyes, or even tall amazon women is wrong? Foot jobs and sexual acts make you a hoe not taking pics
I believe an man that loves his woman’s feet will lover her whole body
I’m a police officer by trade and the prostitutes I talk to everyday are by far my favorite criminal because of their honesty and directness. They know I pretty much have to catch them in the act in order for me to make an arrest That is why I read your article.
We’ll certainly your status as a self proclaimed atheist is directly linked as to why you have issues seeing the morality line. As for myself a devout Christian, whose willing to have a real discussion, saw the line at the beginning of your post. And I’m not bragging because logically your position makes. But morally the wife who cooks a steak and divy’s out a BJ to her husband for a new tennis bracelet has in fact committed an act of prostitution. However is it right to call her a whore? We are all whores if she is. If men and women were created in Gods image to use others or yourself, i.e. a prostitute, courtesan, escort, Geisha as a means to an end, financial gain, it’s wrong even the wife with a new tennis bracelet.
You see the moral line was crossed in your opening. That is why we are called fallen humans in need of a Savior, Christ. We are so broken in our narrow minded egocentrism many times we don’t even see the moral line until it’s too late especially if we are not well rounded in faith. God loves us enough to make our own way he just hopes its back to him. He isn’t going to force us because that is not love. Love defined is to Will the good of another. He sacrificed himself to pay our sin debt, the perfect act of love. It’s our job to keep acknowledging our sins and moral blindness while trying to teaching HIS way in the hope that others can be swayed.
So your question of doing an act with a man for money even though no seed has been spilled is false. Seed is being spilled, in the parking lot getting “fresh air.” Your part in the sin was to create the conditions to help that man commit an act that leads him farther from God and his dignity. It would have been less sinful if you would have had actual sex with him. Hope to see you in the confession line one day.
Thank you for taking the time to respond! I will take your words into consideration!
I don’t see it. Your priorities include art and adventure; every example of each should be unique. A prostitute generally does the same thing throughout her career; the frequency, settings, and positions might change, but the occupation doesn’t. My impression is that your inclinations toward art and adventure direct you away from such regimentation, even though you’d remain independent.
The only problem with prostitution is that it’s illegal in most of this country, and that wasn’t the case for at least half of its history. My guess is that too many women were jealous, and they implemented their grudges after the 19th Amendment passed. I read somewhere that prostitution was legal in Las Vegas until WWII; when most of the males were away due to the war, the women banded together and outlawed it. Perhaps you can verify or correct.
Laws against prostitution amount to legislating morality. Morals which seek to quash nature are extensions of religion, which is based on false concepts, and is the source of authoritarianism. Mencken, who described religion as “little more than synthesized fear”, wrote about morals:
“The loud, preposterous moral crusades that so endlessly rock the republic – against the rum demon, against Sunday baseball, against Sunday moving-pictures, against dancing, against fornication, against the cigarette, against all things sinful and charming – these astounding Methodist jehads offer fat clinical material to the student of mobocracy. In the long run, nearly all of them must succeed, for the mob is eternally virtuous, and the only thing necessary to get it in favor of some new and super-oppressive law is to convince it that the law will be distasteful to the minority that it envies and hates. The poor numskull who is so horribly harrowed by Puritan pulpit-thumpers that he can’t go to a ballgame on Sunday afternoon without dreaming of hell and the devil all Sunday night is naturally envious of the fellow who can, and being envious of him, he hates him and is eager to destroy his offensive happiness. The farmer who works eighteen hours a day and never gets a day off is envious of his farmhand who goes to the crossroads and barrels up on a Saturday afternoon; hence the virulence of prohibition among the peasantry. The hard-working householder who, on some bitter evening, glances over the Saturday Evening Post for a square and honest look at his wife is envious of those gaudy drummers who go gallivanting about the country with scarlet girls; hence the Mann act. If these deviltries were equally open to all men, and all men were equally capable of appreciating them, their unpopularity would tend to wither.”
“Moral values change too often to have any serious validity or interest; what is a virtue today is a sin tomorrow.”
“Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on ‘I am not too sure.’”
“Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are wrong.”
For “theory”, I’d substitute “contention”.
GREAT quotes! Thank you for the long and well-reasoned comment! I do intend to study up on the history of prostitution in Nevada… I’m not sure when it was criminalized. But I am with you 100%… I don’t understand why it is illegal. It’s obviously a service that many people want! And my feeling is that it’s a harmless way of blowing off steam, while helping somebody else make a living.
This story has some local background, though it doesn’t provide much detail:
https://lasvegasweekly.com/news/2012/jul/04/marie-rowley-explores-history-prostitution-las-veg/
The Wikipedia entry offers some statewide information:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Nevada
WOW!!! This was really fascinating… I didn’t know much about block 16, now I want to make a video about it! And I found the Wikipedia article interesting as well… I remember reading it a long time ago, but found it even more interesting now that I have explored so many of these places. I’m one of those nevadans who have no problem with it…it really boggles my mind how anyone could take issue with someone selling something that belongs to them, and that there are obviously plenty of willing buyers for.
This is one of many of your traits that I like — you can discuss such topics without jealousy. Too many people should be called old prudes, no matter how young they are.
I’d guess that any current account of Block 16 will need archival photos. Maybe I should have guessed that a real estate developer was the story’s bad guy.
It also blows my mind that the legislature refuse to allow brothels to be taxed! WTF?! And then they sit around and cry about how there’s not enough budget money for this, that or the other…