Banned From Yelp!

I’ve been an “Elite” status Yelper for 3 years now…I love Yelp! I find it to be an invaluable resource about everything from restaurants to mechanics to doctors. I’m an honest Yelper… so if you’re thinking of asking me to write a good review for your business as a favor, THINK AGAIN! I won’t do it! But if you’re looking for HONEST, unpaid (i.e. un-ass-kissing) reviews of Vegas establishments ranging from brothels to strip clubs to swingers clubs to bars and restaurants, hikes and attractions….check out my reviews!!

Click here to read my Yelp reviews!


Yelp literally changed my life — thru it, I met a food critic who introduced to me a bunch of professional writers, one of whom hooked me up with my first-ever professional writing gig. I’ve also dated people I met thru Yelp…I owe them a huge debt of gratitude!

HOWEVER, some butt-hurt establishments that have felt the wrath of Wonderhussy apparently can’t handle the fuckin’ truth, so occasionally my reviews gets censored or removed from the site. Below, please find some of these reviews.

1. Terry Fator (ventriloquist show at the Mirage)  (1 star — lowest rating available)

I had little interest in seeing Terry Fator, though his big fat smarmy redneck mug has been leering at me from local billboards for years. Ventriloquism? Puh-leaze! I’m *WAY* too highbrow for that.

Then he dumped his wife to shack up with his 20-year-old assistant. NOW I wanna see his show — I gotta see the Hawaiian ho-bag that broke up a God-fearing, Jebus-lovin,’ cancer-kid-tribute-song-writin’ all-American-hero’s 20 year marriage! That must be SOME gash!

A friend got free tickets, so I went to check it out for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting much, but I should have been warned by the fact that I had two extra tickets, and I couldn’t even GIVE them away. I approached several people on the Strip on my way to the show: “Hey, would you like some free Terry Fator tickets?” “Terry WHO?”

My bad; I should have known better to approach anyone younger than 95 or with more than 4 teeth in their mouth. Because that’s the only people who dig his lame, white-bread, borderline-racist, sexist, homophobic, obscenely pandering shtick. Seriously; I looked around the theater when I got there, and it looked like a trailer park church social in Rustbucket, USA. Depresssssssssing!

Terry himself is a great ventriloquist, but his puppets and shtick are SO lame and tired that it’s not even fun to get drunk and laugh at. His puppets cover every stereotype known to Flyover Country: the funny fag, the jiving Nigra, the horny old woman, the slutty young homewrecking assistant — oh wait, that wasn’t a puppet, that was his WIFE! Who, incidentally, is built like a brick shithouse, and whose apparent purpose in the show is to wear a succession of slutty costumes and be leered at by Terry.

Each puppet was onstage for about 5 minutes of shtick, which consists of singing along to a live band. The fag sings fag songs, the Nigra sings Nigra music, the horny old lady sings horny old lady songs. The Hawaiian hoochie doesn’t sing (or speak a single word, for that matter) — it’s too hard to sing with a mouth full of cock.

Apropos of NOTHING, Terry takes two breaks from his racist/sexist/homophobic shtick: “I’d like to be serious for a moment, folks.” UH-OH!!!

The first time Terry gets serious, it’s to sing a self-penned piece of uber-schlock called “Horses in Heaven,” all about Little Timmy the Cancer Kid. All Little Timmy wants to know is if there are horses in heaven, presumably so that when he dies, he can suck horsecock for the rest of all eternity under the watchful eye of Jebus.

The second time Terry gets serious is when he asks all the “folks” (I hate that word, it’s a Flyover Country Alert signal) in the audience who have “served our country” to stand up and be applauded. All the poor old WWII vets in the room creak to a semi-erect position: Yaaaaaay! God Bless Amurrica! Thank you for giving up years of your life to serve your corporate masters! So glad you escaped being blown to smithereens so that you could be here tonight in Vegas, listening to this racist, sexist, homophobic pabulum! I KNEW WE FOUGHT THOSE WARS FOR A REASON!

But aside from those two brief intermissions, it’s non-stop yuks. When Terry’s not onstage, this funny wacky Nigra kid comes out and does funny Nigra dancin’ to keep the audience from nodding off. THAT’s the kind of show this is.

In sum: if some random bitch comes at you on the Las Vegas Strip, trying to pawn off two free tickets to see Terry Fator….


2. Old Homestead Steakhouse (inside Caesars Palace) (1 star — lowest rating available)

My visit to this unbearably pretentious establishment was humiliating 🙁

I wanted to thank a very good friend, who had done me a HUGE favor, by taking him to this restaurant. I knew it would be pricey, but this was one of those “special” occasions that are worth it. Plus, I love Caesars Palace and have always had a good time there.

Thanks for fucking that up for me, OHS 🙁

I knew Old Homestead is the new steakhouse in town, so it would be packed. That’s why I had my friend, who is a Seven Star Member (high roller/gambler at Caesars properties) make the reservation — Caesars takes care to kiss its high-rollers’ asses, so that they don’t take their gambling dollars elsewhere.

My friend booked us a table for 8:45pm, so we rolled in around 8:40. We checked in at the hostess podium, and an uber-bitch logged us in. Apparently, a reservation here means little — once you show up, they put you in for a table. HELLO? Isn’t that the point of making a reservation — TO HAVE A TABLE READY FOR YOU WHEN YOU ARRIVE?!?!

So now we were “logged in,” and had to wait for a table to clear. Even Outback has the class to give you a fucking buzzer, so you can wander off and be buzzed when it’s your turn. NOT HERE! Your choices are to either stand around the hostess podium waiting, or go the bar for a drink.

So we went over to the bar to have a drink while we waited. We sat down, and the DOUCHEBAG wannabe-Brandon-Flowers bartender made us get up, because the bar seats were “reserved.”

RESERVED?! A quick check at the hostess stand revealed that bar seats cannot be reserved. So, someone was lying to us.

Either way, we were forced to stand around like idiots in front of the hostess stand, waiting for a table to clear up. AGAIN: WHAT IS THE POINT OF MAKING A RESERVATION IF YOUR TABLE ISN’T RESERVED?!?!?!? Stupid!

We waited for 25 minutes before finally being seated — AT THE WRONG TABLE! My friend specifically requested a table by the window — and he put in his reservation 10 hours in advance. Still, we were told that if we wanted to wait for our requested table, it would be a longer wait.

Since we’d already waited 30 minutes by this time, we just took the shitty table in the back corner that they gave us.

After that uncomfortable and humiliating experience, I didn’t even want to eat…but I figured we were there anyway, so might as well make the best of it. We had a completely unremarkable $350 meal: shitty wine, Caesar salad, two filets mignon, two baked potatoes and a side of crab legs.

BIG FUCKING DEAL! I’ve had as good a meal at Outback. SERIOUSLY!

The salad was fishy and way over-dressed (the lettuce was totally coated in shitty sub-par Caesar dressing). The steaks were fine, but nothing about them stood out over Outback. And they were $50 EACH!

The potatoes were FUCKING BAKED POTATOES. Who the fuck charges $12 for a BAKED FUCKING POTATO?! I don’t care who the fuck you are — Wolfgang Puck, Guy Savoy — NO ONE can make a baked potato a $12 baked potato. Especially when it’s just crusted in sea salt and served with sides of cheddar, sour cream and Bac-Os. LAME!

The bread basket was the same old crap they served when the place was Nero’s — pretzel bread (Omigod, how revolutionary) and the usual junk. BIG FUCKING DEAL!

Dessert: a $12 dish of frozen berries, with a side of whipped moose jism. YAWN!

Now, I know this is Vegas, and gouging people is the norm. But, seriously?! $350 is a LOT of money for me. I was trying to impress my friend, and I was willing to fork over the bucks for a truly exceptional experience. THIS. WAS. HUMILIATING.

Also, I ***WORK*** at Caesars… and these people treated me like LESS THAN SLIME. I’ll remember that, assholes.

I work in the showroom right down the hall, and people ask me all the time where’s a good place to eat. I swear, I will ***NEVER*** recommend this ass-joint. Rude staff, a fucked-up business model, and shitty food…why the fuck would I recommend this?!?!?

You can get a better steak for $7.77 at Mr. Lucky’s in the Hard Rock.

Fuck you, Old Homestead! I hope you go out of business in two weeks. YOU DESERVE IT! I hope someone shits in your meat locker, and every pretentious asswad who eats in your crummy establishment gets e.coli, and you get sued into oblivion.


 3. The Artisan Boutique Hotel (2 stars)

Two words: endearingly shitty

Two more words: CAVEAT EMPTOR!

This review is based on 4 parts: the lounge, restaurant, hotel and pool. Actual rating would be more like 2.5 stars, if that were possible on Yelp. The place frankly sucks, and the staff rips you off, but it has such a cool-yet-gross vibe that it’s hard to really hate it too much. Awwwww!

This place used to be a Travelodge, but some forward-thinking boutique-hotel impresario bought it and fixed it up all Haunted-Mansion-like, which is VERY cool. Weird art and mirrors on the ceilings, black walls, crazy antiques and thrones and shit everywhere. The decor is BAD ASS, and the atmo is really, really cool. It’s also a popular afterhours hangout for the ecstasy-eating crowd, which means the place is constantly being trashed by stupid-drunk bean-eaters rolling around getting piss, precum and Hepatitis C on everything. That’s right, nothing ever really feels clean or hygienic here….but oddly, somehow, that’s part of its charm (for me, anyway). It’s borderline gross…but somehow in a lovable way.

So, for my rating:

1). Lounge
The lounge decor is BAD ASS Addams-Family-chic (as described above), perfect for those who like to drink in dusty gloom. Sort of like boozing in a giant game of Clue (in case you’re wondering, it was Wonderhussy, in the library, with the gin rickey). For those who prefer al fresco boozing, there’s also a lush, tropical outdoor patio seating area that is really, really cool.

HOWEVER!!!!!! The bartenders in this joint are shady as hell, and will overcharge you if you don’t watch your back. They have a decent happy hour ($6 wells), but the bartenders will add a buck or ten to that total if they think they can get away with it. On 6/11/12 I ordered two double vodka grapefruits, and I was charged $40. You do the math — since I didn’t specify a vodka, it should have been four $6 well pours; $12 for each drink, or $24 total. The jackass male bartender added SIXTEEN DOLLARS to my tab. Why? My only guess is he’s a sad, desperate asshole. Friends of mine have reported the same thing happening to them here, SO BEWARE!

2). Restaurant
The food here is subpar and frankly sucks. Bar appetizers are OK, and they have some decent happy hour specials (just watch out that they don’t overcharge you). But overall, there’s no reason to eat here (especially considering the dirty feel to the whole place).

3.) Hotel
You can TOTALLY TELL this used to be a Travelodge. They basically just slapped some black paint on the cinderblock walls, added some cheap gilt-framed paintings, and called it a day. I find staying in an all-black room oppressive and creepy, and it’s a nightmare trying to do your makeup in an all-black (tiny) bathroom. It’s also very loud, what with the adjacent freeway and the constantly thumping lounge beats. I do not advise staying here, unless you’re simply too wasted to go elsewhere. Plus as mentioned, the place has a slightly dirty feel to it…so be advised.

4). Pool
If you come here on a weekday, when there are no events going on, the pool is BAD ASS! It’s topless, intimate, tropical and lush. No douchebag bouncer at the door charging you $40 to go in, and the daybeds are free for the taking. This is my FAVORITE POOL IN VEGAS — unless you go on a weekend, when they do the pool lounge DJ thing, and the place is full of bean-eaters rolling their balls off. YUCK!

The only downside to the pool is, there is no cocktail service. You have to walk into the hotel, through the lobby, and into the lounge, where the shady bartender will try and rip you off.

I have to admit, I dig this place for the very reasons I hate it: scammy bartenders, gross dirty vibe, crappy cinderblock walls….it has CHARACTER, man. It beats going to Town Square or anywhere on the Strip, hands down. Bonus: they have a weird, creepy looking little wedding chapel onsite that looks more like a place to have a baby’s funeral (or like the place they christened Rosemary’s baby in the movie)…so keep that in mind for your Goth wedding plans!

So…kudos to you, Artisan. You have perfected the art of being addictingly shitty!


Miss Woodall-

A terrific pleasure making your acquaintance yesterday thru Francis.

Even in the filthy conditions, you proved yourself an admirable ally to our mutual associate.

I left your card at the new offices last night but would like to speak with you about your writing aspirations at your (earliest? meh, just) convenience.

Or, whenever we revisit the storage forage. Whatever’s clever.

You have a clear voice, confidence in the character, good qualities abound in your writing. Like to talk more about where you’re taking it.



This is one of the oldest taverns in LV built in 1959. It has a large mural on the back wall by famed artist Frank Bowers, CA. Old building new sound system and some great DJ’s many of them that performed all weekend at Forgotten City. We have a all night DJ thing on every First Friday. Pretty cool pub type open kitchen nothing to brag about but clean, cheap and large portions. 1675 Industrial Rd, LV 89102 come by this FF if your not doing anything.

Gary Welch

Hey Hussy
Love your trip resports, but thought i’d check your reviews.
WELL: I do take offense at your reference to Vets that are the ones that make it possible for you to roam around this free country saying and doing petty much what ever you like (and it looks like you’re having fun (would like to follow some of your trails)). But I guess you don’t realize that with out those same guys you would probably be speaking german in your blogs. And likely you wouldn’t be roaming around and speaking freely like you enjoy doing as do I. You sound like a true liberal progressive extremist which us vets have fought so you can be just that. In the country that might other wise exist you would likely be jailed and that would be a true shame. Keep up the great trip reports roaming this great free land we live in.


Thank you! I do enjoy my freedom, and I thank those whode it possible. But as the daughter of an army vet, I have seen both sides… I grew up on an army base in Germany and went to US department of defense schools, etc…. The armed forces are like anything else: some good, some bad, some bloated budgets and a lot of bullshit and lies fed to keep the engines stoked with fresh bodies…so to speak. I guess I’m overly cynical, but in my experience not everyone joins the service for selfless reasons, as I have personally witnessed. I’m glad the Nazis/Japanese lost WWII, but the wars since then seem to have been less clear cut and more politically cloudy…. Wtf was Vietnam?! Iraq? It’s a bunch of bullshit meant to enrich the pockets of Halliburton, et al…..war is horrible (especially combat) and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!!


War is horrible and should be avoided whenever possible. The Military Machine, the Politicos, the Right Wing Hawks, the Left Wing Bleeding Heart Liberals….say whatever you will, as loud as you wish, as often as you can. But, as for the Veteran, a simple thank you is generally enough. Anything less is a gross and illogical insult to their (our) having survived our efforts.
I realize that no one is perfect and perhaps your experiences as a military brat has caused this hairline fracture of your demeanor.
Thank you for all your exploring videos and accompanying commentaries.


Yeah, I only know my own experience… and it definitely soured me on the military. I still feel the rich urges the common man to make great sacrifices, using the concept of patriotism as a cover for their greed. This was my experience; others’ may be different. Anyway, glad you enjoy my videos! Thank you for taking the time to write!

Roger Wood

Thannk you; for your candor. I’m sure it will ,if nothing else, save a number from the same misfortune;{> Please continue to share your adventure; you’re truly an escape from an otherwise mundane existence Sarah, thanx again!


This made me laugh, when I couldn’t even imagine anything being funny today!

My sister and I watch you on you tube, thanks for your creative and happy info

Peace and love, Dee and Shell

Melody Strachan

This made me laugh, when I couldn’t even imagine anything being funny today!

My sister and I watch you on you tube, thanks for your creative and happy info

Peace and love, Dee and Shell

John Rush

Rather than “banned”, you may have instead been selectively censored, as many of your reviews are still there. And these may be, too: about 2 years ago, I wrote a negative review of a Chevy dealer that I initially couldn’t find on yelp, but it’s in a link at the bottom of the page of “other reviews that are not currently recommended”, along with more than 100 1-star reviews (that would have been no stars if allowed), which “are not factored into the business’s overall star rating”. (I didn’t actually go to the dealership, they sent me a junk-mail scam called “Money Carlo” that I reported.) I forgot my yelp password, which may be just as well, if they don’t factor in so many negative reviews. Anyway, if the yelp pages for the businesses and shows you panned have the “not currently recommended” link toward the page bottom, you might check there for your missing reviews.

One of my reviews was removed, and I’ve not received an explanation why, but it was another 1-star review. Here’s how it started:

“A major problem with making the late Madalyn O’Hair the sole atheist spokesman was that all atheists could easily be slurred through her. Ungodly is a prime example; Dracos’ Christians are portrayed as flawless, while his atheists are treated little better than pond scum.

“Fortunately, his book is easy to dismiss. Haphazardly arranged, riddled with stale clichés, and full of errors, it careens between biography and crime story, failing at each. The only attempts at chronology were as events unfolded through the media. Ungodly seemed to be written for a tabloid audience that cares less for facts than an embellished tale. Dracos was a television reporter (he actually sued the San Antonio paper for reporting how his job ended), which may help explain why his book reads like a bad soap opera that should be canceled.”

Dracos is safely dead, so we no longer need to fear his censorship and lawsuits.


Haha! By “banned,” I meant only those reviews that were removed by Yelp for violating their “standards…” most of my reviews are still up there, it’s only a few that were censored.
I actually have a lot of faith in Yelp….I write TONS of honest reviews, and use it as a resource when I’m traveling. I don;t think it’s as crooked as people think. I have had people approach me to write fake reviews and I always refuse….I prefer to keep Yelp honest!

John Rush

Okay, I see it: after hitting “not currently recommended”, then hitting “continue reading” the not currently recommended reviews, there’s a list at the bottom for “Reviews Removed for Violating our Terms of Service”, and you’re on those 3 lists. So selectively censored. And apparently by Yelp, not by those you panned. Did they tell you which terms you allegedly violated? And did they give you a chance to alter your reviews to meet said terms, without changing your core complaints? If neither, their censorship seems arbitrary.

Your reviews are honest opinions based on your experiences. In the order you presented them, they can be reduced to 1) not worth the time, 2) not worth the money, and 3) not for everyone. Those simple descriptions could have met their terms, but (and this might be projection) those who consult Yelp probably want more details, which you provided.

Your experience is one more argument for establishing and maintaining your own forum, where your views aren’t subject to censorship. This web site qualifies. If any more of your reports are similarly censored elsewhere, I trust that you’ll post them here.


The reviews that I’ve had censored were probably because I mentioned diseases… I guess they take that stuff kind of seriously when it comes to the health code! And in one of them I said something about baby Jesus sucking horse cock… So I guess that was just a bridge too far for their delicate sensibilities


Googling Luckenbach when I came across your video. Really enjoyed it, until your video ran out LOL. Started connecting your dots, YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr (whoa), and then to your site.

You do a great job; I definitely enjoy your videos (your Galveston video was spot on, since I grew up on that beach). Your articles are just… f’ing great; when today all we read and see is so depressing, your writing is a needed IQ booster.

Looking forward to seeing more of your adventures via video and photo!


Right on! Glad you are enjoying myself… And especially glad you are enjoying my writing! Iblog for many years and never got a lot of buzz… But it is my true passion I guess most people just prefer to watch videos though, which is why I switched over… I hope to pick up writing again someday soon!


Your videos are definitely great as well. You’re very articulate and a hoot to watch.

Hope to see more videos from Texas!

Glenn Zichler

I’m just another fan saying thanks for your videos. My 24 year old daughter loved watching them with me. She spent four months housebound with the rents, fighting cervical cancer. Your explorations delighted her, she was always eager to see a new one.
Jessica lost her battle on May second. Just wanted you to know that your adventures were truly uplifting to her. You never know what impact your actions will have on another persons life. Thanks again, Glenn.


Wow, Glen… Thank you for taking the time to write this. I’m so sorry to hear about Jessica… I bet she was a wonderful person, and I’m glad she enjoyed watching my videos. I have had several abnormal pap smears myself in the past, so cervical cancer is something I am well aware of. In fact, my last exam came out abnormal and I had to go in to get rechecked… It’s really important to stay on top of that stuff, as you well know. When I go back for my follow up in 6 months, you will both be in my thoughts! ♥️

Dave Potter

Sarah: I recently read that your Mom lives on the Russian River. I used to live in Sebastopol for 21 years. As a side note, my Father and I took our 16′ boat and went right down the middle of Main Street, Guerneville during the ’64 flood. Let me know when you are coming out. I’d love to take you and your Mom out to dinner.

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