Monthly Archives: July 2011

Fabulous New Photos!

The pen is mightier than the sword! As the author of this groundbreaking, life-changing blog, I can certainly attest to the veracity of this old saw. Whether by Bic or by kick, I will fuuuuuuck you up! I did a … Continue reading

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Industrial Espionage and Medical Fetish

All my cool gigs cancelled this week I was supposed to play Secret Agent Hotpants again in another scavenger hunt, and that fell through…but even worse, this other super-intriguing industrial espionage gig I booked didn’t pan out, either. The espionage … Continue reading

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Am I a Prostitute? You Decide!

While I was trying to decide whether or not to do that sex seminar gig, I got a lot of input from friends and ¬†Facebook “friends.” Almost every single person advised me not to do it, and one of the … Continue reading

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The Sex Seminar

Uh oh, I was drinking wine and surfing craigslist again. This time I applied for a gig as a live demonstration model at a sex seminar. The ad didn’t give too many details except for the only detail that counts: … Continue reading

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Bacon & Donuts & Naked Cowgirls

I’ve been operating in a fog all week as a result of my trying a new insomnia cure called Sleep Restriction Therapy. I have had terrible insomnia for over a year, and have tried every pill, tincture, vitamin and herb, … Continue reading

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The Costume Cop-Out

Friends, I have not updated lately because I’ve been suffering a spiritual malaise. I won’t go into detail, though, because last time I mentioned I was feeling anything other than hunky-dory, this punk-ass psychiatrist diagnosed me as bipolar, and totally … Continue reading

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Scenes from a Casino

Ahhhh, Fourth of July Weekend in Vegas. One night at work, we were treated to the sight of a young party girl in one of those skin-tight mini-dresses, barefoot and totally wasted at 10pm, puking her guts up all over … Continue reading

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Happy Birthday, Jesus!

I am hereby formally announcing my candidacy for Tea Bag Hag 2012! My platform is Lucite and my issues are many-fold. As a know-nothing hack, I understand the needs of the American People better than those Washington insiders… *WONDERHUSSY FOR … Continue reading

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Michael Jackson’s House and the Shuttered Sahara Hotel

Ever since I found out my memoir doesn’t have to be finished until July 31, I’ve been doing alllllllllll kinds of crazy stuff other than write. Writing is for losers…or for those who have no actual LIVING to do! (This … Continue reading

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